We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
