Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had to cum in my sink.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
