Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
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Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
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Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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