im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
