kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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