I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
