she looked like the before picture.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
