Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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