He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
