god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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