Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
