So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
