there was a trapeze. enough said
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
