I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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