i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
