He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
