she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
