I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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