first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
