got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
