We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
