i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
