She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
