Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
