i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
