From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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