i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
