Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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