some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
