i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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