How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
