Define "chronic" masturbator.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
