the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
