They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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