i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
