don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
