He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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