Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
