Pappa wants mamma naked
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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