Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
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Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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