last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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