I'm eating all of the evidence.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
