omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
