I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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