i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i've created a new STD.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
