so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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