Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His hands were made for my vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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