if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize