I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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