"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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