remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
