we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
