But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
