Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We need to get me chipped asap
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
