he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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