you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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