you guys were way drunker than both of me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
