I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
