This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
