The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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