Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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